My first published blog post was The Stone.
Almost exactly two years later, I read it again and tear up.
I wrote:
We fall on Jesus, into His “everlasting arms”; we lean on Him, depend on Him to hold us up. And He does. But sometimes we’ll be broken. Sometimes our lives will crumble before our eyes, even while we’re clinging to the solid Rock. Sometimes our hearts will be shattered, even while we’re in the arms of the Healer. Sometimes the storms will rage and scream around us, even while the One who brings Peace is in the boat with us.
It’s been a long, hard year. Yes, there has been good and there have been lessons. But there’s also been pain. Tears. Anger. Confusion. Overthinking. Sorrow.
I’ve written about hope and surrender and waiting and the sacrifice of praise and open hands and how I can’t carry the weight of this broken world but Jesus did, and I’ve got two drafts talking about weeping and loving and letting myself grieve but also giving it to God, and I’ve read so many quotes and heard so many things. . .
But my first post–so short, so simple. . . yet so true–smacked me (lovingly) in the face and was what I needed.
Me-two-years-ago went on to say:
We must be broken in order to receive healing. We must be lost to ask for help and direction. We must be scared before we can know peace. We sometimes must lose everything so that we can understand Jesus is everything.
I was reminded of a quote I saved on Pinterest.
maybe the reason why God is allowing us to feel this heaviness is because He wants to remind us that He can give us rest. Maybe He is allowing us to go through days when we feel empty to make us realize that He alone can satisfy. … Maybe God is allowing all this to happen to us to know that despite all these things that we’re feeling, He’s alive.
from Pinterest
It’s the sick that need healing, the broken that need fixing. There’s no reason to ask for help if we know where to go, how to do this. Without knowing what fear feels like, we won’t realize what peace is and be thankful for it. If we have “all that we need,” we won’t understand that Jesus is all that we need. We won’t desire that rest and relief as we should if we’re not struggling under the heaviness. When we’re full, we won’t crave Him. If we haven’t felt hopeless, then we won’t quite understand that He is our hope.
I’m reading a study book on Jonah, and one thing it said was how God–in His mercy–sent the storm in order to keep Jonah from the worse thing: life apart from God.
Jonah tries to run away from God, but God in His mercy intervenes.
Joanna Kimbrel, Mercy in the Storm
A tumultous storm may seem less than merciful,
but God uses it to save Jonah from a more devasting end–
life apart from God. …
Maybe these storms, these trials, these sorrows, are to keep me from life apart from God. Maybe these hard situations and feelings are to bring me closer to Him. There might be other reasons: to teach me things, to encourage compassion and love and softness, to give me a testimony that I could use to bless/challenge someone else and bring God glory. . . But I think the main, most important reason is that God wants me to come to Him, wants a close relationship with me–and He knows I need it.
So, dear me and everyone else reading this,
Fall on Jesus. You might be broken, but it’ll be okay. …
